In 1973 there came a movie so fucking out there, it's still regularly shown in theaters. I'm of course referring to The Rocky Horror Picture Show.   

     A film that was originally a cheesy rock and roll sendup of old horror and sci-fi classics has become a worldwide sensation and a multimedia experience. by its second year as a midnight movie, people began yelling  at the screen, creating clever "callbacks". By the late 70's people were getting up in front of the screen and acting it out. Through the 80's you'd have to hunt for a theatre still showing it.

     Unfortunately showings are now very regimental and organized with volunteer "shadow casts" who do weekly or monthly shows up on stage. As anyone I work with or am friends with can attest to,  I am OBSESSED with RHPS. You can imagine my outrage when I find out about a remake. Not only a remake, my friends, but a remake requisitioned by none other than MTV.

     The very idea of having modern references made in this movie are fucking outrageous. This movie is pure kitsch and pure cult. Its dated, yes, but its being dated is almost charming. They also plan to resurrect songs that weren't in the original release of the movie. Yep, the ole' "WE'RE MAKING IT BETTER THIS TIME" gag. They always do this shit.

     I shudder to think of the use of cellphones, myspace, facebook, ugg boots. The whole 10 yards. They'll probably transform "Hot Patootie, Bless my Soul" into a fucking rap song.

     Which brings me to my point. Do I really dread this remake? Or do i really CRAVE it? The thought of an awful movie that will repel newcomers to the Picture Show, kind of excites me. Also I sort of want to see just how fucking bad they ruin it. You can quote me here on April 23rd, 2009, the man who plays Frank N. Furter WILL be Johnny Depp. I would bet my very life on this guess.

     Supposedly this atrocity will be released by Halloween of this year.

In the words of the munchkin mayor, "Let's hope its a good one"