Today I just felt like reviewing a recent horror film that I had seen.  The one in questions just happens to be an over the top piece of shit.  I didn’t want to give it away too soon in the review, but My Bloody Valentine 3D is just that bad.  Re-makes are usually bad in horror, it is just a known fact, but seeing as how they were making this one 3D I gave it a chance.  Scott and I went to see it knowing pretty much what to expect, but it even exceeded our expectations as even more over the top and even less believable.  I have to say they fucked the plot beyond recognition.  Thats the thing that pissed me off the most.

     Hearing web wide on horror forums that the original My Bloody Valentine (1981), directed by Goerge Mihalka, is good over the top fun while still being a good movie I had to pick up the recently released Extended Cut copy of the film.  When I watched I had to agree.  It certainly isn’t very memorable, but it is still a fun watch.  Then we saw 3D and the plot was ruined to say the least.  Rather than the killer being Axel in the original, the killer is Hanniger.  Those who haven’t seen the films, what they did is basically make the killer the person who everybody expects it to be, so there are no twists in the long run just confusion.  The only twists that were in the movie were ones they added which just made shit even more confusing.  For example, Hanniger is now the rightful owner of the mine everybody works in and wants to sell it all of a sudden.  Oh, and out of the fucking blue in this re-make Axel is the chief of police...and he’s having an affair.  The plot in the original was twisty and turny and they diminished it to a flat line with down syndrome.

     The acting was beyond horrible as well.  Between Paul Kelman as Hanniger, the emotionally pissed mine owner coming back to reap his profit, Neil Affleck the very blank and un-talented actor playing Axel, the chief of police having an affair, which is fucking stupid, and Lori Hallier playing Sarah, the center of a love triangle that is the least believable story played out on screen since...oh wait, the last horror re-make.  I wont go into too much detail because there isn’t much to write about.  Every actor in the movie gave not far than a shit performance.

     Now, being a 3D movie some of the flaws in other areas can be made up by clever 3D and good special effects.  Granted the original film had gratuitous gore and was way over the top, but in the re-make I have to say that I was beyond un-impressed with what they accomplished.  Everything was expected and nothing was shocking.  What was shocking was how little 3D they did with Ax swings and wasted on a full body nude killing of some hot slut.  Nothing special.  What made me really pissed off was the blood’s composition.  It wasn’t thick enough and looked like it was mixed with water.  Very un-convincing blood made me feel like I was watching a movie and not living the experience.  And what’s more, they kept throwing it at you.  They over-used the 3D and it was over-done, yet under-done at the same time.  Fuck it, the movie just sucked ass all around.

     Worst horror movie of the year so far?  In theaters definitely.  I hope to never see a film by this director again, he is simply lost.  To screw up this much out of a re-make of not that great of a film to start with is just awful.